Pre-Op Journaling: Today, Oct. 16, 2013, I go back into surgery for another spinal operation.
Autumn is hanging by the threads of orange and red leaves, golden pumpkins on the vine, life in its turn, reminding us that spring’s rewind begins now; plants, trees, give their all and surrender to hibernation or death, rest, quiet and peaceful. No tears here.
Spinal operation today, Oct. 16. Dangerous. I fear not death so much than if I died while under anesthetics I’d never have the opportunity to tell all of you I love how much I love you and how you give me life and inspiration every day. Many times I have said that most important in my life are three constants: whom I am with, what I do and where I live. When I have these three in harmony and balance, then life is full and beautiful.
Number one: Who I am with. Myself, family, friends, loved ones, work associates, higher power, etc.
When I was in the hospital June 20-25, after I had some semblance of consciousness after ten hours of general anesthesia, I could not wait, or was so anxious for Mary to touch me. Touch me, affirm that I was real and connected to mankind in the here and now and when she touched me, took my hand I felt like my hand dipped into a stream connected to every stream, river, all the oceans of our humanity.
And Mary’s touch felt so grounding, so blessed, so full of life and grace that I mention this now to remind myself and you, dearest readers, in this pre-op statement, so that today, you too will reach out, touch, hug, connect body to body, spirit to spirit, in a heart to heart touching conversation. In Rilke’s poem on Autumn, the leaves are falling and are we not in the hand holding up all of us? To all of you who have touched me, connected me to you and all of humanity, thank you. With hugs and love. Jim. Amen